8 Types of Love to Create a Lasting Relationship, According to the Ancient Greeks

8 Types of Love to Create a Lasting Relationship, According to the Ancient Greeks enm relationship,relationship quotes,relationship counselling,defacto relationship
8 Types of Love to Create a Lasting Relationship, According to the Ancient Greeks | Image by lookstudio on Freepik

Finding a love that lasts is a goal for many seeking meaningful enm relationships. The ancient Greeks identified 8 unique types of love that serve different purposes. Understanding these relationship quotes and thoughtfully practicing them can lead to deeper fulfillment and connection in your relationship counselling.

1. Eros - Passionate Intimate Love

Eros represents passionate, romantic love and profound attraction. It includes physical intimacy, affection and sexual connection. Eros brings fire, excitement and adrenaline rushes to relationships.

Tips for nurturing Eros:

  • Flirt with your partner. Send them suggestive texts during the day building anticipation.
  • Surprise them with romantic getaways, flowers or small thoughtful gifts.
  • Try new adventurous dates like salsa dancing, rock climbing or couples massage classes.
  • Initiate intimate touch often - hugs, kisses, hand-holding and quality time in bed together.
  • Always ask for consent before sexual touch to ensure mutual pleasure and comfort.
  • Don't get so comfortable that you stop "dating" your partner. Keep courting them forever.

2. Storge - Dependable Family Love

Storge represents the steady, familial love between committed partners who fully trust one another. It's built through shared experiences, ups and downs and enduring loyalty.

Tips for building Storge:

  • Open up about your childhood, past relationships, deepest values and goals for the future.
  • Spend time with your partner's family and friends to understand their roots.
  • Make big commitments like moving in together, getting married or having children.
  • Support each other through job changes, deaths of loved ones, illnesses and other challenges.
  • Compromise during disagreements instead of insisting on being right. Aim for win-win resolutions.
  • Celebrate milestones anniversaries to honor how far you've come together.

3. Philia - Close Companion Love

The Greeks valued Philia, or mutual friendship love, very highly. Philia makes partners feel like equals, best friends and trusted confidants.

Tips for strengthening Philia:

  • Take time to laugh together often about shared jokes and funny memories. Inside jokes build closeness.
  • Confide your secrets, dreams and vulnerabilities with your partner. Be a trusted sounding board.
  • Respect each other's independence and maintain friendships outside the relationships. Avoid smothering.
  • Try new hobbies or take classes together to bond over shared interests and accomplishments.
  • Offer advice as a caring friend would, not judgment. Support your partner's growth.
  • Give compliments about character and intelligence, not just appearance. Deep friendship love runs deeper.

4. Agape - Selfless Unconditional Love

Agape represents selfless, patient love given freely without expectation. It's enduring care for your partner's wellbeing without keeping score.

Tips for nurturing Agape:

  • Notice when your partner needs support even without them asking. Help alleviate stressors.
  • Celebrate your partner's wins and console them during losses without envy or "I told you so's".
  • Perform small acts of service like bringing them coffee in bed, cooking dinner after a long day or folding their laundry when they're busy.
  • Watch for opportunities to give genuine compliments about their talents and praise them to others with sincerity.
  • Don't tally sacrifices. Keep giving while also honoring your own needs so you don't burn out.

5. Mania - Powerful Obsessive Love

Mania represents intense, possessive love that can be overwhelming. A touch of mania can remind you to appreciate your partner. Too much becomes unhealthy attachment.

Tips for keeping mania in check:

  • Notice moments of unreasonable jealousy or control and self-reflect on where they stem from without accusation.
  • Discuss your feelings openly and ask for reassurance if needed, but avoid attempts to restrict your partner's harmless behaviors.
  • Don't check their phone, emails or track their location without permission. Offer trust until they give you reason not to.
  • Spend time apart pursuing your own friends and interests. Codependency and obsession drain relationships.
  • Seek help from a counselor or therapist if obsessive thoughts become overwhelming or destructive.

6. Pragma - Unwavering Committed Love

Pragma represents unwavering commitment that endures through ups and downs. It's realistic long-term love that accepts flaws and compromises.

Tips for building pragma:

  • View occasional conflicts, miscommunications and annoyances as normal challenges to overcome together. Don't catastrophize them.
  • Celebrate big milestones to commemorate your journey together. Display photos from throughout your relationship.
  • Attend couples counseling even when things are good to fortify your communication and intimacy skills.
  • Embrace change as you both grow and evolve over the years. Fall in love with your partner over and over again as they change.
  • Commit fully during good times and bad, in sickness and health. True pragma means loving your partner holistically.

7. Philautia - Self-Love

Philautia is self-love and acceptance. You can't deeply love another without first loving yourself. Take time for self-care and believe you deserve great love.

Tips for building philautia:

  • Identify and write down your positive qualities, talents, morals and aspirations. Read them whenever you feel inadequate.
  • Set healthy boundaries and don't tolerate manipulative, abusive or excessively critical partners. Demand respect.
  • Make time for hobbies, friends and self-care routines like exercise, nutritious eating and relaxing bubble baths.
  • Squash negative self-talk and instead nurture yourself with compassion as you would a close friend.
  • Seek counseling if trauma, depression or exceptionally low self-worth impact your ability to love yourself or others well. Healing is possible.

8. Ludus - Playful Fun Love

Ludus is playful, fun love. It's about being silly, laughing, joking flirtatiously and enjoying childlike thrill with your partner.

Tips for injecting ludus:

  • Surprise your partner by doing something outlandish like stripping during a private dance party in your living room together.
  • Send funny memes, gifs and jokes by text. Laughing together is bonding.
  • Play immature but harmless pranks on each other like jumping out to scare them in a closet.
  • Dramatically lip sync love songs to each other. Don't be afraid to get theatrical and ridiculous!
  • Drop double entendres during everyday conversation to add moments of naughty humor. A mischievous wink goes a long way.
  • Tickle or splash your partner when they least expect it to be flirtatious. A little mischief keeps things exciting.


There are many kinds of love, each with their own purpose and flair. Study the 8 loves originally identified by the ancient Greeks. Thoughtfully practice them in balance to enrich your relationship and enjoy lasting fulfillment.

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